Parenting is heart work, hard work, commitment, exhausting, enjoyable, important and fun! Based on Baumrind's initial study of 100 preschool children, researchers have conducted numerous other studies than have led to a number of conclusions about the impact of parenting styles on children. Parents follow different parenting styles and they lead to different impact on the kids in the long run. These are:
Authoritarian style of parenting is one in which children are expected to follow the strict rules made by their parents.
Failure to follow such rules usually results in punishment. These parents do not explain the reasoning behind these rules. The child follows the rules just because the parents said so. Such children grow up to be obedient and proficient, but they rank lower in happiness, social competence and self-esteem.
Authoritative parenting is a kind of style in which parents establish rules and guidelines that their children are expected to follow. These parents are responsive to their children and willing to listen to questions. When children fail to meet the expectations, these parents are more nurturing and forgiving rather than punishing. These are assertive parents that follow disciplinary methods which are supportive, rather than punitive. These children grow up to be happy, capable and successful.
Permissive parenting is one in which parents have few demands to make to their children. These parents rarely discipline their children because they have relatively low expectations from them. Permissive parents are generally nurturing and communicative with their children. These children are more likely to experience problems with authority and tend to perform poorly in school.
Uninvolved parenting is characterized by few demands, low responsiveness and little communication. While these parents fulfill the child's basic needs, they are generally detached from their child's life. Uninvolved parenting styles rank lowest amongst all other styles. These children tend to lack self-control, have low self-esteem and are less competent than their peers.
Here is the Parenting Ps which is a must along with the best parenting style all adults follow:
Patience – Parenting requires patience. This is one quality on which depends how relaxed your family will be. Replace your impatience with love.
Playfulness –When did you last slide down on the slides with your kids? When did you jump on the bunch of fall leaves with your kids? Bring out the child in you and have fun with your kids. Have a family movie night, eat, play, and work together. Another example of a fun thing is writing notes to your child. As has been a culture in back to school night, when the parents go sit on the child’s seat, there is a note from their child in front of them and the parents leave a note for their child in return for them to read the next morning. I have been doing it for a few years and it was greater fun this time as he is growing bigger. The notes are making more sense now and we have started to cherish them.
Pushing hard is useless – All parents want their kids to succeed. Children should not be pushed too hard and a relatively relaxed approach should be maintained to success at school and to after-school enrichment activities. Time should be taken to teach them to be self-reliant and help them develop self-esteem.
Participation - Participate in activities together and it if fun to learn something new together with your kids. Along with this let kids participate in your goals or hobbies. My son has started suggesting me topics I can write on and help me promote my hobby.
Participation - Participate in activities together and it if fun to learn something new together with your kids. Along with this let kids participate in your goals or hobbies. My son has started suggesting me topics I can write on and help me promote my hobby.
Pure love – Loving also means knowing that maturity will come slowly. Parents have to respond gently and to what the child does that is immature.
Passive listening – It is very important to listen to our kids. If they are telling us their problems, we should not finish the talk by jumping to suggesting solutions and think that we have helped them in solving their problems. Not only listen but participate in the talk, be their friend first, suggest them what you would do in that situation and ask them their feedback, what they think and then add to it.
Persistence – While having fun, don’t forget to maintain the right balance. Be persistent with the rules. Don’t forget to be assertive and supportive.
To have parents become successful in raising their kids, there are programs like Triple P - Positive Parenting Program. It is run in different countries in which parents are advised on how to deal with a tantrum-throwing toddler to a truant teenager.
Also, P is for Pal, praise, party, partner, prize and perseverance. Garnish them in your parenting mix recipe and enjoy your kids. No one on his or her deathbed ever said, “I wish I had spent more time at work, in my office”. Instead don’t let yourself ever feel that you didn’t have enough family time.
